
Sadly this could be the hardest post I’ve had to write about Zambia. It’s the one post that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been asked – more than once. Life is busy.
I’ve been back for 2 weeks now, but it could have been 2 months. Life carries on. Meetings. Sales. Strategy. Growth. Finance. Spreadsheets. Travel. Just like it was before Zambia.
As I suspected, my biggest challenge isn’t culture shock, it is the one I’m still carrying around every day, literally, ‘Don’t waste this experience’. That would be so easy now, so very very easy.
You see – I can reconcile with myself spending on one meal what could sponsor and feed a child for almost a year in Zambia. I can drop back into the convincing arguments of ‘my time is too valuable’, ‘buy a new one, it’s not worth getting it fixed’. I can justify iPhones, Macs, iPads and the latest technology. The easy option is to roll with it and carry on. Life is like a railway track. It wants me to conform, tow the line, go with the herd, no sharp corners or unexpected u-turns.
But things have changed. I know that this is not good enough. I said it in a blog post while I was out there – this attitude is second best – and I’m not happy with that.
So here’s what I’ve done…
I’ve not stopped learning. I’m reading just about everything published online about Zambia, African technology, education and health. I’m ploughing on through my Africa book, which is just outstanding, and I’ve built a spreadsheet of every idea I’ve had since coming back as I’ve had them. (I may even share it later)
I know that in there somewhere is the kernel of an idea of what ‘best’ means for the Westmancotts. It’ll need some nurturing to mature, I’m not expecting the answer overnight.
I’ve become so aware of the model of a man that I’m painting, whether or not I like it. I want to be the model of what I want my son to be, not what I am. What if Solomon grows up thinking that a successful man starts, grows and sells a business, making enough money along the way to retire early? What if that’s it?
We only get one chance to make a first impression, but when it comes to our kids that impression outlives our short existence here.
I’ve just read a book on becoming an elder, it describes the process of planting a walnut tree, a selfless investment, one that won’t fruit in your own lifetime.
Maybe the kernel of an idea is a walnut, maybe God is challenging me to stop thinking I can solve Africa, and to think more about people, lives, relationships and hope. Things that will outlive the mortal me. Maybe it’s not about me at all, maybe it’s all about Solomon, Martha and Jemima.
I want to go back, and I want to take the family, I’m not quite sure why yet, but we’ll never know unless we do it.
If you meet me, there’s an open invitation to challenge me on what I’m doing to not waste this. I want to be held accountable!
This is not the end…
OLIVER